“Jugular I.V.” and “3 Day Weekend” should not be used in the same sentence.

When people ask you “got any plans for the upcoming 3 day weekend?”  Most common responses are, “going to the beach” or “going to see a movie”.  But not me!!  I think that the best thing to do with my time, is go back to the Hospital’s Emergency Room, with severe stomach pain, just to find out that due to my extensive medical past I have not more veins left to start an I.V……so what is the next best thing?  The jugular vein IN YOUR NECK!  Hey like they say “Go hard, or go home”.

My husband and I got a three-day, 2 night stay at the beautiful Hoag resort.  With Ocean views and butler service only a click of a button away, you will feel like a new person when you leave. All rooms include water in a beautiful, mauve disposable jug, with bendable straws, and satellite TV.  To ensure that you feel that you have privacy, there is a sheet used as a curtain that forms around your bed and an exquisite gown that ties in the back, to allow a carefree feeling.  To book your stay, just pick up the phone and dial 911 and our courtesy valet service is on its way to you.

Everything in the brochure was true, but I did not come home feeling rested.  They placed a drain and removed a large amount of fluid.  Hopefully that will take care of my cyst for now.  I have to save up for my next vacation!