I am Allison’s Parkinson’s. I didn’t plan to be so negative. It’s just my nature. I slowly began taking over her brain, killing dopamine producing cells and receptors. She didn’t even know I was there in her substantia nigra, located smack dab in her midbrain at the top of her brain stem. I thought we were friends, so I stuck around for years. I got cozy and made a home by cleaning out all those pesky cells.
I started on the right side of her brain making her left side slow and stiff. I hid very well leading her to blame my presence on an
The first 4 years of me squatting in her brain were the good ol’ days. Just me and her. But then she found out my name, Parkinson’s disease and started taking medications. She first started taking Dopamine agonists. The pills were an attempt to act like Dopamine. Imposters! Those agonists might have fooled me temporarily, but then I figured it out.
I slowly began to intergrade other symptoms which impacted Allison in different ways. Her mood began to shift, her muscles began to cramp, she was also rigid and slow. That’s when she decided to start taking Levodopa. It was like a thick smog that was trying to pass the blood brain barrier and create the Dopamine that I had so effectively been cleaning out. My only savior was her gut. I was able to slow down her digestive system which ultimately gave her trouble absorbing the medications she was taking to battle me. Didn’t she know that we were friends? At least that’s what I thought.
I didn’t make too many changes, until she shocked me. Literally. She invaded my cozy home with a plastic lead shoved right into her midbrain. This device, which she called Deep Brain Stimulation, sent electrical current right where I was chilling In her substantia nigra. She pumped the brakes on my plans. It was like she was putting obstacles in front of me on purpose. But I believed that we were in this for the long haul.
Even though she fought me every step of the way, I have been devoted to Allison for close to a decade. We are in a toxic relationship. We fight constantly, but for some reason, we can’t seem to separate. I don’t mean to do the hurtful things I do to her. I have changed her life dramatically, impacting her motor and non-motor skills. I have even tried to keep her all to myself by impacting her confidence and making her feel apathetic. But nothing seems to work.
No matter how devastating my presence is on Allison, she will never quit fighting me. She will remain positive and resilient. I can’t live without her. Maybe she is afraid of commitment, but I will continue to grow on her, because I am Allison’s Parkinson’s.
I really enjoy the Perky Parkie, Allison. I am 68 and was diagnosed about 11 yrs. ago and I sometimes find the need to read something up lifting and your blog his very helpful in that regard. Stay with it, I go to my Parkie support group once a month and your blog is frequently discussed. So for about 25 people with pd thanks again!!!
Bruce,
Awwww, that’s so sweet to hear! Thank you for sharing.
I love all your blog’s, but this has to be the best.
Sharon, thank you!
Great article! I have found that spending time with
my family, holding my grandson, getting a hug from my boyfriend who actually understands what I am going through, praying, exercise, yoga, walking on the beach, and many other things, has made the love hate relationship I have with Parkinson’s bearable. Having pd has made me so thankful for what I do have, and what I don’t have I guess I really don’t need anyway. One day at a time is my motto and we all know things could be worse. Thank you Allison for giving us hope, and making us smile!
Dianne, you’re right, things can always be worse. Thank you for your comment!
I love this! I’m a “party” as well and can relate to this! Thanks for making me look! 😃
Darcy
Darcy, Ha! Happy to hear you enjoyed my post.
Wow. I needed this today, Allison! Solidarity around apathy! But how to defy it? Motivation to fight apathy seems like an oxymoron. I try not to get seduced by it, moan over it, ruminate. Easier said than done. All suggestions welcome.
Garrett,
Find someone to hold you accountable. If I put in on my calendar, I have a greater chance I will follow through. Motivation to fight apathy… ha! Never thought of it like that before.
Very well said and relatable. Thanks for keeping us from feeling all alone!
Karen,
Happy to hear that you enjoyed my post!
You are an incredible writer. And I love your hair
Well, thank you, Rupa! You made my day!
Feel very same way about it
Debbie,
Happy to hear that you can relate.
What a great description! Thanks, Allison.. our best to you ( my hubby has the DUOPA pump)
Thank you Toni! Hope your hubby is getting relief from Duopa.
There’s a cure out there somewhere, we just have to find it. We’ve. Seen the impossibility become a reality many times. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, we just have to hang in there.
Bob, so true… just hang in there.
You got so right!
Ron
(Parkie since 2012/DBS last year – the battle continues)
Ron, thank you!
Oh my gosh, this is excellent. Yet another blog that should be required reading at every PD support group. Could we please have permission to do that? Read your blog to our members at a meeting. Not all of them have a computer and the internet. Our group has become huge, and when I first started attending 5 years ago there were very few women Parkies. Now, we have a list of over 30 women. At our planning meeting earlier this year, the whole group asked for a “humor to help with Parkinson’s” speaker or resource. We need to remind them about you. Thank you for doing this work to help keep people inspired and motivated.
Karen,
Absolutely! I would love for you to share my blog posts with your support group! Thank you!
Thank you so much Allison! Your blog is just so helpful to those with PD and those caring for them. It’s the “people-speak” we need!
Karen, thank you for your kind words!
May I ask where your group meets? And if you have any men?
That’s a great description Allison. Also, I lived your comparison of “coming out of a coma” from your article about what life before Parkinson’s was like. Keep up the good work. Casey
Thank you Casey!
The gift that keeps on giving.
Lynn, that’s so true!