It’s a warm evening as I am driving home from work. Here in Southern California, when the sun is setting and the weather is perfect, it seems like everyone is outdoors. Stopped at a red light, I see a small group of women power walking together. I felt slightly envious that they were enjoying the fresh air, but also guilty that I too should be exercising instead of wanting to hit the couch for some Netflix binging.
Focusing on the squad strutting down the sidewalk in sync, I thought about how these ladies came together on this fine day. I envision them at a local Mexican food Restaurant, during Taco Tuesdays,drinking pitchers of margaritas… this is how I imagine it… some artistic liberties were taken… One of the ladies says, “we should start walking every afternoon, I totally need to lose some weight.” The others chime in, “YES, what a great idea!” They finished their drinks and guacamole, knowing that tomorrow was the start of their new workout routine.
Surround yourself with positive people
I often refer to people to make a strong Wolfpack. This is a group of people that you know that you can lean on when times get difficult. This group of girls had created their own Wolfpack. Yes, I know that if may not compare to having Parkinson’s disease, but they have surrounded themselves with positive people, who will cheer them on for each victory, but also hold them accountable when they might need someone to call them out.
For me, joining Rock Steady Boxing has been a huge influence in my life because I am surrounded by positive energy and people who will hold me accountable and encourage me to push harder.
Find people who emulate the qualities of who you want to be
I tend to envy my closest friends… not their material items such as their houses, cars, or ponies… ok, come on, who doesn’t want a pony? But simply, because I have surrounded myself with the most awesomest people alive, they are perfect examples of how to be a good person. I have learned from them to be nonjudgmental, to ask and accept help without feeling guilt, be interested in what’s important to them, listen to what they’re saying, be reliable and most importantly, make them feel loved.
Don’t waste space in your head
If something is important to you, you make time for it. Understanding that my symptoms are different every day and my “on” time is limited. This requires me to be choosy as to who or what I spend my energy on. If you are not significant to me, I am not going to give you my precious time. I cannot let meaningless conflicts or shady people take space in my head. I will eliminate toxic relationships in my life. I will not waste a minute of my valuable time worrying about things that I cannot change.
The company you keep can influence the way you cope with Parkinson’s. If you have Debbie Downer talking about how miserable life is and that there is nothing you can do to change your situation… well that’s not true, you can! Dump Debbie Downer and find people who lift you up, not bring you down. Before you know it, you will be walking in sync with your squad talking about margaritas.
I am in love with the work of a poet named Pavana Reddy and this made me remember this blog post…
Your soul is attracted
to people the way
flowers are attracted
to the sun.
Surround yourself
only with those who
want to see you grow.
John, that is a perfect poem!
Isn’t it!!? I’m going to Smile and buying her book. Her words. I mean ❤️!
Hi Allison – I am very “fresh” – having just subscribed to your blog 10 minutes ago! My journey is also new, having been diagnosed back in March of this year.
I am fortunate in that I had a Wolfpack of sorts built-in, right from the beginning. I have noted that my core group of friends, some of which I have known for 50ish years, have surrounded me with renewed hope and love, and an earnest willingness to learn about what I am taking on.
These folks, plus the amazing people I have met post diagnosis, have me well placed to face the down and dark days with resolve and perseverance.
There is always room for laughter!
Bob, how awesome you already have a Wolfpack! You are blessed! Thanks for the message!
I was diagnosed 20 years ago, in my late 40’s, and it’s all so true. I have taken on a role, in doing what I want, with whom I want. I haven’t thought of my group as a “wolfpack”, but now I will. The conversations I used to experience seem trivial to me now that I can self examine and laugh at every small detail in my day to day activities, with the wolfpack. I found these friends at a PWR class (Parkinson Wellness Recovery), and we play Ping Pong occasionally and have determined that talking while playing is actually multi-tasking. An example of how we think!
Annie,
Happy to hear that you’ve found a great wolfpack to support you. I never thought of ping pong… that sounds fun!
I agree. Having a wolfpack is critical. I too am involved in Rock Steady and am inspired and encouraged by my fellow boxers all of whom are battling the same foe!
John, that’s awesome!
I get a lot of strength and encouragement from what I wlll now call my little. wolfpack . Each Saturday, we meet at the gym, do about 1/2 hour of exercise and 1 1/2 hours of chatting over coffee. We also ring each other from time to time, when needed, to cheer each other on. We all have different chronic illnesses that take their toll, but we discourage each other from over indulging in organ recitals (spending too much time whinging about our organs).
Vera, love it! Organ recitals! Ha!
You put it so well, “if you are not significant to me, I am not going to give you my precious time.” My time is so very precious now that I have to pick and choose how I spend it. Not everyone gets that but I’m not going to spend time worrying about it.
I feel the same way about our Rock Steady group. They are a supportive positive group and I know they have my back (and yours) when times are tough.
Lauren, sometimes you’ve just gotta worry about yourself and not be afraid to set boundaries.
1. Never feel bad for wanting to Netflix binge. There is nothing better in life than pizza, Skittles, and a Netflix original movie.
2. The very last time I had a drop of alcohol was a margarita (or 3) at my neighbor’s last birthday dinner. We ended up drunk, partying at gay bars in Houston, and me walking into the back of a parked Ford F-150 in the rain tearing my favorite shirt. Why do I bring this up? Nobody talks about exercise when drinking margaritas Smitty!
3. I didn’t realize this until I read this, but I have a Wolfpack! We’ve never met, but constantly Facebook message each other about our very most personal…everything. We’re going to meet and run at the MJF Disney Marathon in Orlando. How cool is that? I’m the one that keeps us in line, because I’ll say whatever is on my mind.
Loved this. Write like this!
John, awesome for running at Disney World. That’s something to be proud of. Keep ‘em in line.
You are so right and I get it that seeing a group like this makes you perk up (sic) and reevaluate what you are doing and how to keep motivated, which can be a real challenge…
Thanks made my day
Kiwiann, happy to hear you liked my post! Thanks for your comment!