One of the difficult things of being in the Parkinson’s community is that many of my friends are older than I am. And while I am grateful to have had the opportunity to be apart of their lives, when they pass, it really hurts. I haven’t had many people close to me die, which can be a blessing, but it also can be a hindrance. I don’t understand death, but there is one hard fact that no one can deny… we will all die someday. But how does life just go on?
This last week, one of my friends Ray Mullarkey passed away gently in the arms of his loving wife of 44 years, Sara. Ray and Sara were an adorable couple. They attended my Parkinson’s fitness classes regularly and one thing that stood out to me is how happy they both were. It didn’t matter what challenges they were facing, Ray was always smiling and quick to tell a joke.
Another thing that made me realize that Ray and I might have been friends in a previous life was the fact that he loved sweets almost as much as I did. It didn’t matter what time of day it was, Ray usually had the remnants of some chocolaty, divine treat on or around his face. His dedication to the appreciation for desserts instantly connected us.
So how does life just go on? How can someone be there one day, and then gone the next? I wish I had an answer, but I don’t. I guess you try each day to keep their memory alive, remember the happy times and feel blessed that you’ve had the honor to know them. Ray, my friend, you are loved and will be greatly missed. The next dessert is on me!
Perky, this post warmed my heart. THANK YOU! It was great to meet you on Saturday, albeit only briefly. You touched my mom and dad’s life in the deepest way. Thanks for all that you do to support and be a part of the Parkinson’s community. You are an inspiration to all!!! With love. Dave Mullarkey
It was great to meet you too, even though your Eulogy made me cry! It’s obvious that your Dad raised a great man. It was an honor to meet you. Keep in touch!
Ray was a warm, humorous humble guy – an absolute sweetheart. The world is a little colder tonight, for his passing and we, his friends and admirers, are a little sadder for the loss of a good friend and a good man.
Oh, Sara, we are so sorry to hear this morning of your loss. Ray was such a beautiful flower in this world. We are at once grateful for the beautiful life you shared and sad that you did not have the next many years together. We know your beautiful spirit will carry you through until your smiles at memories of Ray outnumber your tears, but so wish it didn’t have to be so. We send our love.
Sorry to hear of your loss. I’m sure you have many great memories, and fun times together .They are the ones that give us joy, make us laugh, and yes, make us cry too. More and more death helps us to realize that time is precious. to be enjoyed. Live today to the fullest. Who knows what’s around the corner. Be happy for each other. XX Dodgie Rog. Ps This message comes directly from Queensland , Australia.
From your affectionate description of Ray it’s clear why you miss him. Sounds like you two had a special human connection. I just lost a dear friend named Frank. He was a real character who always had a colorful story or a good joke to tell. Sounds like Ray and Frank might hit it off!
I am saddened by your friends passing. I am saddened even more because you are still young which sometimes makes it harder to understand and accept. I do not know what beliefs you have. But please try and understand that everyone is a gift to us. And when the gift has served their purpose then frequently the gift is removed from our lives. That is why it is so important to cherish every moment we have with everyone we meet.
Good reminder Tommy… Cherish every moment.
What a lovely sentiment ! I too lost a fellow PWP, Bob Johnson, who was only in hos 50’s and fought PD for 20 years. Great attitude, smile and a friend indeed. I believe he fell down and hit his head once too often. Balance…
Sorry to hear of the passing of your dear friend. It’s never easy, especially when you share a common thread. As you reflect fondly of him, I’m sure that you were there for him, in his darkest days.
This makes me so incredibly sad…they seem like such a loving couple…I’m so very sorry for this great loss…