A Grasshopper Walks Into A Bar…

Each year I put together an event called the Unity BBQ.  This is a way for me to help take the politics out of the Parkinson’s community by offering a day that we can come together and support the cause.  This being our 4^th year, I teamed up with National Parkinson’s Foundation-Orange County Chapter to host the Unity Brunch comedy show.  As I mentioned in my blog “Am I Funny?”, I had the honor of being the “Mistress of Ceremonies” and try my hand at stand-up comedy.  It was a lot harder than it looks!  For your enjoyment, here is one of my jokes:

You know, getting ready for this comedy show was a lot of work.  It takes time to get the word out, sell tickets and look for corporate sponsorships.  But it is also a ton of fun to meet new people in the community, but a little tip from me to you guys…. Don’t do this when you’re hungry.

Last week I was meeting with an owner of a local business, but I didn’t leave enough time for lunch. As I am telling him about the Unity brunch I can hear my stomach growling.  I notice a dish full of almonds sitting on his desk and my mouth begins to water.  Trying to pretend I was fully involved with our conversation, I thought about those sweet, majestic almonds.  I knew if I could just have a few, my stomach would stop digesting itself.

While in mid-sentence, I quietly lean over and grabbed an almond.  I could taste sweet victory as I put it in my mouth.   Trying not to moan as I chewed, I waited to see if the owner would protest the violation of his healthy treats.  But he didn’t even flinch.

So I thought to myself, “what’s a few more?”  I move like a highly trained ninja and gently swipe a handful of the almonds, without missing a beat in the conversation. I know, I am that good!  Again, the owner said nothing.

I keep this pace up until the meeting was over.  As I stand to shake the owner’s hand, I look down at the dish and was stunned to see I had woofed down half of the almonds.  Even though I had enjoyed my snack, I felt bad.  So I said, “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to eat all your almonds…. I was starving.”  He kindly says, “Don’t worry about it!  Since I got my new dentures, all I can do is suck the chocolate off the almonds.”

Ha-Ha-Ha!  I crack myself up!  What I learned today is that getting up on stage and talking to people…. not so scary.  But getting up on stage and people expecting you to make them laugh?…. Totally different ball game.  I think this Perky will stick to blogging!  So what happens when a grasshopper walks into a bar?  The bartender looks at him and says, ‘Did you know there’s a drink named after you?’ ‘Really?’ says the grasshopper. ‘There’s a drink called Jeremy?’