When Did I Get So Old?

I am in complete denial that I am getting older. My brother went to his 20-year high school class reunion this year…. I laughed at him, until I did the math. My 20-year reunion is next year! How is this possible? I used to go days without wearing makeup as a teenager, but now, I couldn’t imagine leaving the house without at least putting some foundation to cover my liver spots and minimize my baby crow’s feet. This year, I will be celebrating my 7^th, 30^th birthday. I refuse to make that jump into official adulthood. This leaves me pondering, where did the time go?

So there I am, sitting at my office scanning the latest posts on Facebook. I’m chomping on a turkey sandwich, complete with all the fixing’s and stacked with multigrain bread, when I bite down on something hard. After making a face that looks like I just stepped in fresh dog poop, I spit out a chunk of my tooth. Can you believe it? Not only am I getting older, I am decomposing as we speak!

I make a quick call to my dentist, trying not to panic, I remind myself to stay calm. Knowing my luck, the anxiety of losing a tooth could spike my cortisol levels, causing me to have a panic attack, which would lead me to think that I was having a stroke. I would then freak out! I would call 911 and describe to the dispatcher that my 20-year class reunion is coming up next year, and my liver spots are celebrating my 37^th birthday in my office where my already deteriorating teeth are falling out of my head.   At my elderly age, who knows what complications can arise from that escapade… I digress.

I saw my dentist that afternoon and swallowed a $1200 bill…ughhhh.   All for a turkey sandwich! I didn’t even have a cool story to go with my chipped tooth… like a Yeti attacked me! I asked my dentist why I seemed to be having more dental problems, and he responds casually, “It’s just your condition”. Ummmm, which one of the many “conditions” that I have is he implying to.  You guessed it! Parkinson’s disease strikes again!

Many medications that we take for Parkinson’s disease cause dry mouth, which leads to tooth decay. Salvation contains antibodies that fight infection, a dry mouth can lead to decay and gum disease. This condition can also be made worse when a person has trouble swallowing. Then to top it off, rigidity, which is a common symptom of Parkinson’s disease, can lead to you grinding down those pearly whites. There is nothing more that I can say other than, “This Sucks!”

So not only did I not have a cool story about fighting a Yeti, I had to invest in preventative measures to protect the possibility of my elderly mouth from decomposing anymore. I have to use a special mouth rinse to help with the dry mouth and now wear a mouth guard to bed at night… I know, super sexy! Getting older is so not cool and I am not a fan!